Family Synergy Work

We have a profound belief in families’ potential to thrive. Yet, over time, relational toxicity becomes a blindfold: families lose their ability to see what’s possible. The desire for human connection is ever present, yet the vision to achieve it is muddled in the current struggle.

Matriarchs and patriarchs long for their family members to thrive both in spite of wealth and because of it. At times, the well-meaning message gets muffled, twisted – and most often – misunderstood. Our four phase system guides a family from their current place on the continuum of angst – either mild relational friction or outright pain – to a place of restored or newfound ease.

In our four phase model, the family selects a starting point, often choosing to absolve toxicity and restore ease in relationships. Throughout our decades of providing this missing phase of the journey, family governance advisors have invited us in to clear friction and toxicity prior to, or during, their good work of infrastructure.

Family Synergy Work helps families strengthen or restore health in the family system. It guides families and family businesses to see the options and interplay between the interpersonal and integrated legal, financial, and tax issues.

Importantly, while the phases are presented as chronological, real life is anything but orderly. Families can use the cycle to learn where they are currently and what they aspire to, often putting their toes in the water of multiple phases simultaneously.

Often, when discord escalates in family relationships, traditional advisory models lead families straight into governance work. We believe that foundational Family Synergy Work precedes and follows governance transforms the outcomes – from fear-driven guard rails to deep empowerment – financially and relationally.

In support of Governance (when desired/needed)

We both support families attempting Governance on their own or while they work with a Governance Professional.

At a certain level of wealth, families begin to explore governance around its preservation, use, and distribution. In traditional approaches, a family’s fear of negative outcomes is often met with the creation of rule sets: who’s allowed to do what and when.

Governance is simply the correlation between intention and outcome. You can govern a community, its members, or a company. Family governance establishes agreements for a system of communication, behavior, and support. It sets forth hope that community members will act in certain ways, offering a Plan B for when they don’t – or for a time when the historic rule sets no longer serve the evolving system.

If a family lacks clarity about their intention for the rules, the legal scaffolding can inadvertently predispose a family to conflict. Families find themselves with written consequences for heirs’ choices, yet the family relationships and eco system remain vulnerable. The family governance profession offers the tools, people, and systems to carry out a family’s intentions. Yet it’s the family who chooses if, when, or how to find hope in the conversations.

The magical DNA chain: integrated synergy and governance work
When Family Synergy Work and family governance are artfully integrated, the path to individual and collective progress becomes clear and empowering. Governance establishes agreements for a healthy system of communication, behavior, and support. Rule sets created in this environment become a multi-generational creed that empowers Future Family Leaders to discover and realize their potential – as individuals and contributors to the family system. Governance agreements establish clear metrics for success and clear consequences for authentic missteps.

Hope in Two Days or Less
When families are introduced to us by their longstanding, trusted advisors, we typically observe one of three scenarios…

• The family is facing a host of new opportunities and they’re craving a greater sense of unity around how to step into their options.
• The closeness and ease the family shared in the past isn’t in the room as often as it used to be.
• Toxicity has crept into a well-intended family system and the pain, angst, and frustration are draining the family’s hope and joy, creating messes and battle scars along the way.

Whether triggered by opportunity, friction, or toxicity, the landscape is clear. To maintain or improve the health of the family eco system – and achieve forward progress – external facilitation may be impactful.

“The vast majority of men and women lead lives of quiet desperation.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hope is a great conversation Programs: harvesting fresh perspectives

Programs begin with a combination of private interviews with your longstanding advisor(s), private sessions with the family’s matriarch and/or patriarch, and group sessions with family and non-family stakeholders either simultaneously, or in subsets.

Coming into the programs, stakeholders often feel clear about their own stakes. It’s logical for each of us to claim our turf in life and business. Even still, as we progress through the process, a natural shift emerges: from being invested in a particular result to being involved in a We-driven Discussion.

Families often find the questions and discussion frames are the most refreshing part of our time together. Critical data comes to the surface that had been missing from previous discussions. Because we come into the conversations with sincere compassion for the depth and complexity of the issues, stakeholders find a renewed sense of comfort in speaking their truths.

Likewise, they hear the other truths in the room at a deeper level. The give/receive dynamic becomes expansive. The collective empathy and contributions of all participants foster the group’s collective wisdom. Time after time, the group organically designs a path that’s unexpected, broader, and more rewarding than previously thought possible. We call it See Past the Line^TM.

Best intentions and booster shots
This essential work is more of a mile marker than a one-and-done sprint. Going forward, Family Synergy Work becomes a touchstone to ground new cycles of planning, business opportunities, or struggles that emerge in any area. While families emerge from their initial counseling experience with hope-at-the-ready, when desired booster shots of intentional synergy work can be instrumental to sustaining ease.

Subsequent programs increase a family’s resilience for navigating disparate perspectives. Controversy becomes a tool for expanding group wisdom and growth. For some, these programs offer a healthy annual relational check in and reset – or a point-in-time ritual for embracing life events, such as birth, death, marriage, or coming of age of a family member. For other families, they now have learned and adopted resilient habits to continue.

Foundational Retreat: from $52,000
In our expanded retreat, family members enjoy opening the conversations one-to-one prior to the face-to-face retreat as well as physical and online tools. Then, we share two days together onsite, beginning with a session on the first day, dinner that evening (or the night before) and a full day retreat the following day. After our time together, we provide you with a brief yet poignant recap of what you came in with, the progress and shifts achieved onsite, and a summary of your decisions and actions for moving things forward.

Subsequent Two-day Retreats: from $32,000
If needed, we offer booster shot retreats. In these two-day retreats, we hold a session on the first day, enjoy a casual group dinner that evening (or the night before), and then enjoy a full-day retreat on day two. Many families find it a priority to hold these retreats once each year or two.

Hope is a great conversation book

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The Invisible Guest

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